Combatting peer pressure – how to help your teen
Friends are an important and often positive influence. However, peer pressure can also lead teens to do things they wouldn’t usually do or stop them from doing something they would like to do. Peer pressure can challenge your teen’s view of what’s right and what’s wrong.
The best protection from peer pressure is for teens to have a strong and loving relationship with their parents.
Dr Michael Carr-Gregg
It’s normal to want to:
- feel liked
- have a sense of belonging
- feel acceptance from peers.
Unfortunately, peer pressure increases as teens struggle to work out where they fit in their social world. This can be especially true when it comes to trying alcohol. Other social pressures can also influence our kids’ attitude towards alcohol, such as:
- social media
- celebrities behaving badly.
As a parent, you’re the most important influence in your teen’s life. Your relationship can help support them make the right decisions, even when they’re under pressure.
Tips for helping your teen deal with peer pressure
Show an interest in your teen’s life. Let them know that what they’re doing is important to you, even if it’s something you’re not interested in. If they’re not big on discussions, send text messages saying you’re thinking of them, you love them, or wishing them a smooth day.
Get to know their friends’ parents. That way you’ll have a better idea of where your teens are and who they’re with. It also means you can develop a strong and united voice about issues such as alcohol.
Have your teen’s friends over to your home, so you can get to know them. This way you can also be aware of their activities. If they like being at your place and with you, it’s harder for them to ask your teen to behave in ways that work against you.
Arm your teens with the facts. Most teenagers don’t drink alcohol (69%)1 and most parents don’t supply their underage teens with alcohol (89%)2.
You can create a fun environment for your teen and their friends while still setting boundaries. Your teen and their friends will appreciate knowing exactly where they stand on things like alcohol and what the consequences are if rules are broken.
Sort out issues quickly. If you have problems with your teen’s friends, clear these up privately, quickly and respectfully. If they break your rules, help them reflect on the situation – how would they feel if a friend behaved the same way?
Follow through with consequences, if rules and boundaries have been broken. Your teen and their friends should know that you’re serious – this can encourage them to respect your rules.
Seek professional help. If things get too difficult, speak to your GP about the problem and ask for a referral to a health professional with expertise in the area.
- In 2022-23, 69% of underage teenagers (14-17 years) abstained from drinking alcohol in the previous 12 months (National Drug Strategy Household Survey 2022-23). (NB: this statistic is an updated calculation of underage abstinence and consumption rates as recommended by AIHW and in line with the 2020 Australian Alcohol Guidelines.)
- In consultation with AIHW, “89% of parents don’t supply their underage teenagers alcohol” was calculated based on the National Drug Strategy Household Survey 2022-23 dataset, similar to Chan et. al.’s (2017) paper, the statistic reflects norms around parental supply of alcohol to minors and was calculated using a) the percentage of 14-17 year olds who drank alcohol in the past 12 months (see Table 4.6) and b) of those 14-17 year olds who drank alcohol in the past 12 months, the percentage who reported their usual supply of alcohol were from parents (see Table 4.10).
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